Elenko Angelov: Bulgarians are addicted to being victims

published on 1/2/16 9:10 AM / 

Author: Miglena Ivanova

Are Bulgarian people able to look at life more optimistically? Why the Bulgarian nation places at the bottom of the optimism rankings? Renowned Bulgarian psychologist Elenko Angelov answers these topical questions in an interview for Radio Bulgaria.

“As a matter of fact, such rankings have been made for many years. I have been working for over 14 years as a psychotherapist. I have been heading seminars about psychology of success and personal development and I can assure you that the Bulgarian people have become addicted to being victims. This is the true reason why that country occupies the bottom of the world happiness rankings.”

What is the recipe for human happiness?

“When we say hello we should bear in mind that the root of this word means I Wish You Good Health. We can play a word game with the English greeting Hello, whose root can be the word hell, but we would better not deviate from our topic.”

Sometimes we seem to have everything necessary to be happy, but we are not happy, as if we feel the influence of a strong negative power on ourselves. How real is such a feeling and how can we oppose to it?

“You say we have everything necessary to be happy. The problem is that we do not know what we actually want”, Mr. Angelov explains. “We have to draw up the balance sheet and start from ourselves first - whether we waste the time of our relatives and friends and make them sad and how many of the ones we spend our time with actually waste our time and keep us in bad mood. Goethe once said: If you want to be happy and avoid any types of negative energy, you should get rid of the people, the conditions and the situations that create those feelings and get rid of the ones who waste your time and spoil you mood. There is a say, which is quite true - A person is what his friends are. If you want to find out who you really are, look at the friends you have communicated the most with throughout the year. You are the average of those people. If you constantly feel negative energy, you should look for the reason inside you. If people only battle the demons outside themselves, they would never feel happy.”

Some people believe that happiness and success are linked with the fulfillment of some personal rituals. Can such activities influence our destiny and does psychiatry deal with such cases?

“In psychiatry, these are the so-called obsessive-compulsive disorders, also known as ritual thoughts and actions. They left their mark in the Bulgarian folklore and rituals. The root of the Bulgarian word for custom (obichai) actually comes from the Bulgarian word for love (obicham). Traditional customs are something normal and they are linked with heritage. In a personal aspect those traditions turn into mandatory rituals which may harm our everyday life. For example, some people choose one and the same route on their way to work and back home. Some rituals such as the superstitions have negative influence over people. Just look at the root of the word superstition (sueverie in Bulgarian – coming from “Vsue”, meaning in vain.”

Children are the most precious thing in life. What parents should do to make their children happy?

“Posterity is not as valuable in the families, as it used to be. As a psychologist I have been witnessing ever more often instances of egoism and family cannibalism, but this is a very long story. I would give people one advice - we should not waste the time of our loved ones and should not force our stereotypes onto our children. Otherwise speaking – the most valuable thing for today’s society is the idea of its own survival. We should not stay blind to reality. The way you have put your question – it sounds archaic. Let us look at people more realistically and consider their totems and the animals they have turned into. Have the courage to observe people and see the traits of which animal each one possesses – every second person around us is a snake, a cunning cat or a fox. We should not delude ourselves that everyone is our friend - when it is cold, the snake would be your friend and use your fire to stay warm, but when spring comes and the weather gets warm, it will bite you and leave you. Do not build illusions about who is who in your life. But make sure you start from yourself. Find out what animal you resemble in a metaphorical sense. Do not build illusions about yourselves and do not try to find out who you were in terms of how much money you have - this is all gone and left in the past. Try to learn who you are now and who you want to be in the future. The recipes to happiness are written on the cover of my book named Recipes for Happiness - these are complete transparence, unconditional love, strong intention and perseverance”, psychologist Elenko Angelov concluded.

English version: Kostadin Atanasov